Here’s something I’ve seen again and again:
A kid falls head-over-heels for a college based on a website, a TikTok tour, a hoodie, or some dreamy idea of what it represents. And now, that’s the school. The only school. The dream.
But here’s the truth:
They’re in love with the idea of it—not the reality.
And look, I’m not knocking ambition. I love that they’re excited about their future. That’s good. That’s healthy. But we’ve got to admit something: this whole college thing? It’s a lot like young love. Loud, emotional, idealized—and not always rooted in experience.
They haven’t been on campus. They haven’t sat through a lecture. They haven’t waited in line for laundry or fought for a parking space or dealt with the burnout that sometimes comes with taking on a massive loan.
What they have done is fallen for the story.
And colleges are really good at selling a story.
So what do you do when your kid’s fixated on one “dream school” that costs a fortune, and you’re the one stuck running the math at 2 a.m.?
You bring the family together. You talk. You really talk.
And yeah, that’s messy.
Because teenagers? Teenagers are motherfuckers.
They don’t want to hear it from you. They think they know everything, and you’re just standing in the way of their destiny.
But this is where family counseling becomes a gamechanger.
I’m not talking about sitting in a circle singing kumbaya. I’m talking about:
- Getting in the same room and finally having the conversation
- Hashing it out—maybe even yelling a little, crying a little, airing some old shit that’s been sitting under the surface for years
- And then starting over—with honesty, with clarity, and with a real understanding of what everyone needs
We ask real questions, like:
- What does your kid actually want from their college experience?
- What are they trying to prove—or escape?
- Is this about the school… or about feeling like they matter, like they made it?
- And how does money—real, earned, long-term money—factor into all of this?
We stop talking in circles.
We stop letting guilt and pressure drive the conversation.
And we start figuring out what’s actually best for this kid, this family, right now.
Maybe that dream school makes sense. Maybe it doesn’t.
But if we’re going to commit to it—or walk away—we need to make that call together, as a family, not as a battlefield.
Because the goal here isn’t to crush dreams.
It’s to build something solid. Something real.
Something that doesn’t leave your kid (or you) buried in resentment and debt five years from now.
So if you’re at that point where every college conversation turns into a standoff… if you feel like you’re on different planets and no one’s hearing each other…
Let’s get everyone in the room.
Let’s hash it out. Let’s bury the hatchet.
And let’s figure out what’s actually going to work.
For all of you.
– James